COMMUNITY GUIDELINES AND SUGGESTIONS

Humans are unpredictable and emotional beings, and we are all doing our best to navigate returning to conventions in These Unprecedented Times. While we hope your experience at MISTI-Con is fun and rewarding, at times, you may find yourself feeling anxious, sad, angry, annoyed, frustrated, disappointed, or any number of various uncomfortable emotions.

What can you do?

First, don't beat yourself up about it: It's common and very normal.

Second, recognize your emotions: Whether they’re rational or not, the feelings are real and should be treated that way.

Third, decide what to do about it: If you conclude your discomfort is minor and fleeting, you can try to push through it. If you're not sure, or you find your discomfort wasn't as minor as you thought, consider the following options:

  1. Take a breather. Everyone is always free to step out of the convention, out of the room, or out of the building, as they please. If you want to tell someone where you’re going, that's helpful, but your priority is your own well-being. You may walk away, take a nap, get some water, ask a friend to come with you, or take some time alone. You are welcome to return when you feel better.

  2. Find an ear to bend or a shoulder to cry on. Feel free to ask whomever you are most comfortable with. You are always welcome to talk to the organizers if you need this kind of support. The important thing is that you take your personal well-being seriously.

  3. If someone's behavior makes you feel uncomfortable, ask them to stop the troubling behavior, if you feel okay doing so. Remember to challenge the behavior, not the person. If you’d like and you are able to, you can explain why the behavior was problematic.

  4. If you don't feel comfortable speaking directly to the person bothering you, speak to an organizer so that they can talk to the other person. If you'd rather not give details about your concerns, that will be respected. It may limit how much we can address the problem, but we will lean in favor of the endangered party when facts are scarce. If you can express your full concerns, even anonymously, that will help us address the behavior and do our best to maximize your safety.

Considerations around granting consent

Sometimes in the moment, when someone asks if we consent to a touch, a hug, a photograph, or other behavior, it can feel like a challenge to reply with anything other than “yes.”

Consider this your permission and loving support to take a moment to think about what you need.

Do not grant consent unless you're sure you want to invite the behavior to which you are consenting. Do not hesitate to decline consent for any reason. Do not hesitate to express how enthusiastic you are when giving consent. Do not hesitate to specify conditions for consent (like "you can hug me, if you do so very gently" or "you can touch my shoulders, but only if I see you before you do").

You can always grant consent later, and you can also always withdraw consent after granting it.

If someone violates your consent a little, let them know. If they violate your consent more than once, or more than a little, let the organizers know. If you don't want us to take any action, we will respect your wishes - but as organizers, we need to be aware of each instance that may indicate a pattern of inappropriate behavior.

Considerations around bullying

Bullying is repeated inappropriate behavior that is threatening, humiliating, or intimidating, whether verbal, physical or otherwise. Bullying may be intentional or unintentional. The intention of the alleged bully is irrelevant, and will not be given consideration. Bullying and intimidation can be in person or in online forums and communities. As in sexual harassment, it is the effect of the behavior on the individual that is important. Examples include, but are not limited to:

  • Verbal bullying: slandering, ridiculing or maligning a person or their family, persistent name calling that is hurtful, insulting or humiliating, using a person as a butt of jokes, abusive and offensive remarks

  • Physical bullying: pushing, shoving, kicking, poking, tripping, assault or threat of physical assault, damage to a person or their property

  • Gesture bullying: nonverbal threatening gestures, glances that can convey threats

  • Exclusion: Socially or physically excluding or disregarding a person.

  • Deliberate intimidation; stalking; following; harassing photography or recording; sustained disruption of talks or other events; inappropriate physical contact; cyber-bullying or cyber-stalking; and unwelcome sexual attention.

MISTI-Con has zero tolerance for bullying and any other behavior that violates our Code of Conduct. Anyone who behaves inappropriately may be sanctioned or expelled from the convention without a refund, at the sole discretion of the convention organizers.